Theodor Seuss Geisel may not have been an accredited doctor of anything, but he sure knew what he was talking about. Oh, the Places You’ll Go! is the first book I ever read to my daughter. Reading it to her was also the first time I had ever heard it myself. I still remember sitting in her nursery appreciating the late afternoon light streaming through the French doors from the backyard, where all my spring blooms were a riot of color. I absently rocked the chair, lost in thought about all the changes that had happened to me of late. Work had altered drastically when I was on maternity leave and I wasn’t looking forward to returning and feeling like a fish out of water in the office as much as I did at home. My happy baby girl was propped up on my lap, looking quite smug about achieving something akin to sitting (such simple things we take for granted) and she got my attention back by gurgling. Smiling, I looked back down at her and made a conscious choice to live in that moment before picking up a book that her Dad had insisted she would need to start out her young life and I began to read out loud.
“Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!”
Already she was happy to hear the inflection in my voice and I know that if she could bob at that point she would have.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”
I have always understood that if I wanted to go somewhere in life, I had to make it happen. But that doesn’t mean it’s been easy. It’s easy to forget as an adult that you don’t have to live in the box that you have made for yourself.
“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.”
In my twenties, this was a difficult lesson for me to overcome and don’t think I really conquered it until Short Stuff was born. So many people feel that one person’s success is another’s failure. I remember floundering in my career and envious that a good friend was soaring high and fast. Rather than being happy for her when she called from large-scale high-profile events, I chose to think she was bragging. Being a mother made me realize that there is plenty of success to go around for everyone and it is defined in many ways.
“Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t. I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true, that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.”
I remember reading this with a resigned acknowledgment. Though I’d lead a pretty charmed life, I had a couple serious bang-ups that left scars on my heart. I knew what these words meant. Looking down at my baby’s head, I silently hoped that she would never feel that resignation. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t realistic. I didn’t look forward to the childhood bumps that could be so damaging – knowing that I will most likely be the cause of some of them. I still remember when the neighborhood kids lied to Short Stuff about having to go eat lunch, but really went to one of their backyards where she couldn’t go. I will never forget her moment of realization. She was excited about throwing a dance party after their lunch (it was 3 p.m.) when she overheard them laughing and jumping on a trampoline next door. In that moment, I saw shocked heartbreak spread across the soft features of her face. Nobody had ever lied to her before – not like that. It was her first real betrayal and I had to physically hold her back as she cried and begged me to go tell them that it’s not nice to lie.
“And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.”
Knowing that life goes on after disappointment is a very hard lesson and it’s taken people greater than me to require medication for un-slumping. But Dr. Seuss wisely didn’t mention that part (probably what his illustrations were for).
“You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.”
I often think of this mythical location when I catch myself choosing to play victim of circumstance, rather than taking life by the reins.
“I’m afraid that sometimes you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ’cause you’ll play against you. All Alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.”
I remember when I played volleyball in high school I missed a ball and had such a bad attitude about it that my coach took me out. Other people had messed up, but I didn’t care about them. I was competing against my own expectations. I didn’t get to play the rest of the game. I hated him that day. Looking back, it was the right thing to do. We are always hardest on ourselves and can often feel utterly alone in a crowded room.
“There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on. But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl….On and on you will hike, And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.”
I love this part of the story. I once asked my husband what he liked about me the most (admittedly obnoxious) and he said it was the fact that I never give up. I’m a like a bull dog. Of course, he then went on to explain that this was ALSO my worst feature (as in when we fight and I chase him around the house forcing the issue like a bad pimple). However, if I could pass one thing on to my daughter it would be this habit. We went to the zoo the other day and it took close to 30 minutes to find a parking spot. About 20 minutes into looking, Short Stuff sadly muttered, “We might as well go home. It’s never going to happen.” Hearing my 4 year-old give up like this bothered me. I stopped the car and explained to her that almost everything worth having is hard and that the only way we can get what we want is by not giving up. When we finally found a spot I asked her if she understood why she was going to get to see the zoo today and she yelled, “Don’t give up Mommy! Don’t give up!”
“You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”
Besides the fact that I still have a hard time between right and left, trying to find a way to balance my life is my biggest challenge right now. It often feels that everything always happens at once and I get stressed trying to fit everything into a day. But in the end, something is always left undone. It’s just hard having to make the right choice about what’s going to be left for another day. As for the birds…I think I tend to be labeled the strange one. But that’s for another post.
As I closed the book that day, I remember making a few wishes for Short Stuff and felt like a candidate for Mother of the Year…until I looked down at her feet and saw several paper cuts from her playing with the pages while I read. Ah, life…there is always a lesson to be learned. And if you haven’t had a baby yet, always remember that their skin is very delicate – they haven’t had any summer vacations running around barefoot yet.
Aimee juggles raising her husband and daughter with a career in event planning. She is vertically challenged, has a loud voice and laughs as often as possible (when it’s appropriate of course – except when it’s not).
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